Avatar Soars To New Heights (Without Making My Head Explode)

I feel like I've been to Hell and back. No, not from watching Avatar. From TRYING to watch Avatar. Three times I drove an hour and a half to go see this. The first two times I left with bitter disappointment and salty tears. (The first time I went to see Nine instead and was not impressed.) Finally last night I was able to get a couple tickets for the 9:15 show. Thankfully I had the following day off because I know this movie has a Titanic length. (See what I did there?) I have never had such a hard time just going to see a movie. I could probably make a documentary of my experience and make a FORTUNE!!

We finally get into the theatre, get pretty good seats (the damned thing is 2 hours and 42 minutes long so I have to have an aisle seat to stretch out my 40 year old legs), get my popcorn, Diet Pepsi and M & M Almonds and I'm ready to go. Before the movie even starts I look behind me and over a couple of seats and a girl has her feet up on the seat in front of her with a guy sitting in the seat. I give her a glare. She gives a glare right back to me. At that point I could sense trouble. I could smell it like the smell of chicken as you drive past a KFC. At that point we don our 3D Glasses (I'm so glad they tell us on the screen to put them on, I probably wouldn't have figured that out) and the trailer for Alice In Wonderland begins. Then the guy directly behind asks three time very loudly "Is this the movie?" Unless the Cheshire God-Damned Cat is in Avatar, this is not the movie you idiot! Finally the movie begins. It's been a long day and I'm tired and very worried about falling asleep. I tend to do that. Old age sucks. Anywhoo, I truthfully didn't expect very much from Avatar. I usually don't like these types of movies, and I wanted to see it in 3D (which I did) simply because if I got bored of it at least I would probably like the 3D effects.

While the 3D was great (surprisingly I thought it complemented the movie and didn't overpower it), the story and it's message was what made this movie great for me. The first action scene was simply amazing and then just when our hero (played by Sam Worthington) was about to get attacked, the girl that has her feet on the seat starts talking very loudly. I am abruptly brought from Pandora all the way back to Earth because of this girl. (For the sake of simplicity, I'll just call her Bitch from here on out.) She's arguing with someone, and then people tell her to be quiet and she yells "You shut up!!" Then I think our main character survived, but I'm not sure, I was busy glaring at the Bitch.

While I thought Sigourney Weaver did a great job as always, this movie wasn't really about the actors. In fact I think big stars such as Tom Cruise or John Travolta would have probably had a negative impact on a movie like this. At least those were the thoughts going through my head when the guy two seats over turned around and told Bitch Girl to take her feet off his seat. She yelled "No. Shut up!!" Then he got up and went to get the Manager. As he walked past me she yelled "What?? Do my feet stink?" And then Sigourney Weaver was mad about something. But I'm not sure what, because I was once again busy glaring at the Bitch.

Some people have criticized this movie for being too black and white. The good people are REALLY good, and the evil people are REALLY evil. While I think there is some truth to that, I think that is part of its charm for me. This movie sets a new standard in effects and cinematography. It creates a completely new World and immerses you in it like no other movie I have seen before. To have an overly complex plot would probably make my head explode. At this point the Manager comes up behind me and tells the Bitch (three times!) to take her feet off the seat and be quiet. Finally Bitch Girl complies. The Manager leaves and all is quiet for about 5 minutes. Until Bitch Girl started getting bored again. At this point there is a romantic love scene and music that made me think of Titanic. I was expecting to see Kate Winslet's boobs when suddenly the guy two seats over jumps up and turns around and yells "You just spilled Beer on my Girlfriend." He then once again leaves the theatre to get the Manager. He is gone for five or ten minutes and then comes back and sits down. Soon after the Manager comes back and tells the Bitch she wants to talk to her outside. The Bitch ignores the Manager. I really wish I could ignore the Bitch. Finally the Bitch leaves but not without making more of a scene and bumping me in the head on the way out. I was ready to grab her by the pig tails and kick her in the teeth. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, ruins my Movie experience and lives to tell the story with all of their chicklets intact!! Well except the Bitch because I let her leave the theatre without causing any more of a scene.

Finally I could focus on the Movie. I'd heard somewhere that James Cameron came up with the idea for Avatar when he was just a boy, and he waited until he felt the technology had advanced far enough before he made this movie. That's what made me want to see this movie in the first place. I was very pleasantly surprised at how brilliant it was. It will likely be nominated for a lot of Oscars. Mostly technical awards like Special Effects, Sound and Sound Effects Editing, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is nominated for Best Picture and Best Director as well. I think it should be. Although I may want to give it another watch since I missed a lot of the first half of the movie (did I mention that?) I also liked the environmental message of Avatar and left the theatre with a smile on my face wishing for World Peace. Well for everyone except Bitch Girl. I hope she dies a slow and painful death, with somebody's large boot up her ass.